I Baptize Ye My Sister in the Waters of... a stool specimen collector?!?

I am giddy right now! I just got to do my first bedside baptism as a hosptial chaplain. In fact, other than helping with my daughter's baptism, this is the first time I have ever baptized anyone. I was really nervous. The minute the family shared about their mother's anxiety over death, I knew what was going to be asked of me - not by them, but by God. The words of the Ethiopian eunich to Philip were ringing in my ears, "Look, here is water. Why shouldn't I be baptized?" And why shouldn't she? Well, my anxiety for one thing. It's funny, how with all my passion for non-professional ministry by all Christ's followers, I still feel the weight of being a professional clergy person who needs to get the script right. I had never done anything like this before. A bedside baptism?!? By sprinking? (I certainly couldn't immerse her.) What would I use? What would the nurses say? Would I mess up the monitors on her head? How could I talk to a woman who is so sick that she can hardly speak? What if I do this wrong? What if I am reinforcing a theology that says baptism is required for salvation? All of these barriers were running through my head. But lying before me was real life - a woman who had been told that if she were not baptized, she would not go to heaven. She already had enough worries on her mind as she was preparing herself for what appears to be the end of her life. She has two adult children that she has continued to raise well past their dependent years. She has sacrificed her finances and ability to pay medical care for their well-being. And another "wonderful theologian" has told her that if she is cremated (the most inexpensive of burials), then she won't go to heaven. It just didn't seem like the best time to debate or try to change her theology. What was needed at this point was action - action with depth. A depth that goes back centuries to the waters of the Jordan River where a young, inexperienced carpenter was baptized and received the blessings of a God who was already well pleased with him, too. Sometimes, we just need that reminder - that God is well pleased with us already. The sacrament of baptism is one such reminder. I guess I also needed another sign to nail this point home. As I was looking for a cup of some sort to use for the water, I knew I was not going to find a consecrated chalice or bowl. The nurse and I went into the supply room looking for whatever God might provide. A brand new, clean small gray cup just wide enough to fit a piece of my hand was there. I noticed the label on the storage bin titled: "Stool Specimen Container". I couldn't help but laugh with joy and giddiness. God is constantly trying to tell me how he takes the mundane and even the profane and redeems them. God meets us in our imperfections where we are - not where we or others think we should be.