11/9 - The Day America Died

I am stunned.

Last night, I took time out.  I had a plan - to get and stay grounded - no matter the results.  

I turned off all my devices.  I built a fire - tended it with Chris and Brock.

I did not pay attention to the news this morning.  

I planned a hike into the woods to a waterfall to remind me the powerful cycles of nature are stronger than anything we can throw at them.

But today, tonight I am stunned.

Still reeling.  Grieving.  

So sad.

Scared.

I feel like I have lost my country.

I grew up on an America where the white working class was the backbone - where they could be trusted to be kind - to have common decency, common sense, where faith meant following the golden rule and being nice to others - of doing what Jesus would do (WWJD).  I grew up to be proud to be an American - "where at least i know I'm free" - to stand up for the flag and for the "men who died who gave that right to me."  I was told that character counts, that family values matter.

And today those same white working class people - those same white evangelicals (and even white mainline Protestants) just voted in Donald Trump for the 45th president of the United States.

I am stunned.

I shouldn't be surprised.  That's most likely what my black friends would say.  Get used to it.  We are.

This is the America we have been trying to tell you about for a long time.

We are not nearly as disappointed - as stunned - as you are.

How can I believe in you anymore America?

How can I believe in you when you vote a man in who played so loose with the truth time and time again.

Who so blatantly demonized families for their race or their religion - who turned them into scapegoats in his quest for power and the next ego-sized accomplishment - and threatening them with expulsion and a wall to rival Berlin.

Who, like a master narcissist manipulated those whom he was abusing.

Who used abortion and "accepting Jesus" as way to get votes instead of sincere heartfelt statements of faith.

Who talked about grabbing a woman by the pussy even as he was just newly married to his pregnant third wife.

Who affirmed both bullying and sexual assault as an acceptable way of being in the world.

Who did not talk about policy at all during presidential debates but rather shouted down his opponents and talked about the size of his penis.

Who has questioned the very nature of the freedom of the press - and even freedom of religion.

Threatening to put both journalists and even his political rival in jail.

Whose driving force - the driving energy behind his campaign was fear and distrust of the other and the "least of these."

I don't understand.

I don't think I can love you anymore.

I don't think I can keep doing this.

I just can't keep trying to change you - keep trying to hope you will be something different when all your life over the last 400 years you have been the same oppressive  misogynistic  racist, narcissist self.  

Donald Trump, you are America.  You are the symbol of what America has become - of what America has always been.

Just ask the Native Americans and their ancestors at the Dakota pipeline.

Just ask the black men and their ancestors who are dying at the hands of those called to serve and protect.

Just ask the citizens of other countries who are dying and being maimed at the hands of our armed forces.  (There is a reason why young Muslim men are giving their lives away in such a brutal and irrational manner.)

This is what it is like when society becomes an addict.

And at some point, family members have to walk away for their own sanity.

The evangelical church is spiritually bankrupt.

The American empire is morally bankrupt.

And I feel emotionally bankrupt.

I...
Can't...
Keep...
Coming...
Back...

Fallen!  Fallen!  Babylon the Great has fallen!