Of photosynthesis & showerheads...

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me may never walk in darkness but will have the light of life." John 8.12

Lately, I have felt pretty overwhelmed - not over my own dilemmas. My own stuff appears at least halfway manageable now. My struggle lately seems to be with the big STUFF (the macro) - the things that I can't control - the things that require community - and the community of this planet at large - or at least a majority of us (hopefully the church). I think my heart is beginning to break with the things that break the heart of God.

Not too long ago, I remember reading an article Tripp Fuller posted in which a scientist was saying that global warming was already too far gone. The Titanic was sinking - and we were just moving chairs around the deck. I remember my comment to his post felt quite discouraging ("Why bother?")

I have also been catching up on my podcast subscriptions - listening to a lot of Bill Moyers, The Journal. Superb reporting! I am so grateful for alternative news sources that give us perspectives that are not colored or censored by corporate media. At the same time, Bill does a great job digging out the corruption that exists in so many quarters of our great country. He opens my eyes so that I can see - and then I wish I could be blinded again.

It's reasons like this that I have avoided reading Brian McLaren's Everything Must Change. Everything?!? Everything?!? I was already struggling with so much in my micro-world to even begin to think about the wider landscape. But now that my world has calmed down a bit - and thanks to people like Shane Clairborne and Tony Campolo, I am beginning to be willing to open my eyes more to my responsibility to use my gifts in the wider world.

At the same time, sometimes, I feel like Atlas holding up the earth. Combine the knowledge of what is happening to the poor and the planet (which I have been trying to ignore) with my codependent struggles of an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and you might get an inkling of the reasons why I want to keep my head buried in the sand - and do nothing (or very little).

Then, during my morning meditation, I came upon John 8.12...
Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light (phos) of the world (cosmos). Whoever follows me may never walk in darkness but will have the light (phos) of life."

I found myself over several days pondering... chewing... savoring this verse.
Jesus said HE (not me or us) was the light of the world. The word that John uses here for light is the same root from which we have derived words, like photo or even photosynthesis.

For so long, I have thought of Jesus being more like a light bulb, a flashlight or at most a halogen lamp. But Jesus is not talking about "this little light of mine" - he's saying that He is THE light of the cosmos.... And what is the light of the cosmos??? The Sun! The very celestial body which brings "light" and "life" to our planet and to our own bodies. We may hide our lamps (candles) under a bushel, but the light of the world cannot be hidden.

As I digested this same verse over several days, it began to give me a sliver of hope. I don't have to be the light of the world. I don't have to fix everything. Even when all seems hopeless - and that we (as a community, society or planet) will never change, Jesus says, "I am the very thing that makes it possible for the plants that give you oxygen and food to grow and thrive." Somehow, creation care then does not seem so overwhelming - or lonely.

At the same time, with the help of some friends, I was able to also see this verse calling me to have the courage to do what is in my power. It's so easy for some of us to think, "Well, Jesus is coming back... The world will get worse before it gets better. So we don't need to do anything to make a difference."

But this verse specifically calls me to "follow" and to "walk". It doesn't say for me to sit on my derrière and let Jesus fix it all. Jesus is calling me to count the cost (to take an inventory of my own gifts and power) and to each day do what is within my power - a step at a time. I am still in the middle of counting the cost right now, but I am finding little ways to make a difference (sharing my concerns, buying a showerhead that uses less water, cutting down my thermostat, writing this blog, being a part of what McLaren calls "an alternate framing story" i.e. the "good news", etc).

I think that if I am faithful with little, God will eventually give me more to do in his timing and his way. As needed, I can do my part. And together, each of our drops of rain CAN become a shower of change rained down by the Father of Light.